Avoiding My Emotions

If you know me then you know I am not a very emotional person. It really takes a lot for me to cry and usually its out of frustration or exhaustion. But occasionally something will strike a cord and let the water pour. 

I have a hard time sharing or showing that emotional side anyway because I really feel like its coming from a very intimate and vulnerable place. I will fight it. I know I shouldn't but I cant help it. I know it hardens my heart but I also don't want anyone feeling bad for me or saying, "awwwwl." 

So I avoid certain things in life that I know will put me into that undesired vulnerable position of crying my eyes out. But some things blind-side you out of no where! Bridge to Terabithia was one of those things... and so was this;

After a long day, we come home pretty late and Adia doesn't want to sleep alone in her room. Big surprise. So I decided to read her a book. As a parent you know that if you read 'that book' one more time your gunna pull your hair out. So I search for one I haven't read yet, for the sake of my sanity. 

And what I find is this; Love You Forever

So if you have read this- you know where this is going. Unfortunately, I had no idea how sad this book is. I am already avoiding anything to do with children growing into adults because its such an emotional trigger for me. So what are the odds that I choose this book!? 

Adia must think I am crazy after uncontrollably sobbing as I am  trying to read the words. Meanwhile, I'm disparately trying to whisper because I don't want the husband to freak out on me and think something horrible happened. 

Anyway I'm not gunna give it all away but READERS BEWARE! Its a tearjerker! 


FYI for those of you still listening this book has made it to my 'list'